A person’s likeability can influence their success at work and in business. While that might seem like a ‘Captain Obvious’ statement to make, research into why this is the case has illuminated some interesting findings. For instance, Dr Robert Cialdini, in discussing the ‘Liking Principle’ in his book ‘Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion’1, says that while we generally prefer to say yes to someone we know and like, this simple rule is used by total strangers to get us to say yes to them.
An example of this is the quintessential Tupperware party. While it is the Tupperware representative who demonstrates the products and asks for the sale, research has shown that the strength of the social bond (likeability) between the party host and partygoers, is twice as likely to determine the product purchase (from the stranger) than preference for the product itself.
When it comes to work and business, the Likeability Principle can be used effectively to find common ground and build genuine rapport with people to facilitate agreement towards a particular outcome. For instance, to make a sale, to negotiate a contract, to adopt an idea, to illicit feedback, to engender a new behaviour, to sway a casting vote.
Some factors influencing likeability
Social psychology researchers have found several elements contribute to someone being perceived as likeable.
Body language, for example, can either enhance or detract from likeability and the rapport-building process. For instance, crossing your limbs in a closed posture can discourage someone from striking up a conversation with you whereas using open gestures such as opening your arms to welcome someone into a group is more likely to result in people perceiving you more favourably.
Liking can also extend to attractiveness, or how attractive we perceive someone to be. Social scientists refer to the ‘halo effect’ when one positive aspect of a person dominates the way people view them. Research shows if someone is viewed as attractive, we automatically assign them other positive attributes, such as talent, honesty, intelligence and kindness. While attractiveness is an individual perception, giving consideration to our appearance and personal presentation as appropriate to the situation can go a long way.
Similarity is another aspect that enhances likeability. Studies have shown this type of likeability generalises across areas, including opinions, personality traits, age, religion and lifestyle, such as having hobbies in common. Finding common interests to talk about is a great way to start a conversation and to build rapport.
Giving compliments, such as positive appraisal, is another factor that leads to likeability. Giving genuine compliments, providing positive feedback and acknowledging achievements are ways to evoke the liking principle and build relationships.
How personal branding can enhance likeability
Personal branding accelerates the know, like and trust process. Because you are proactively positioning yourself, building a profile and shaping a cohesive reputation, people may feel they know you (and like you) before they actually meet you. The familiarity built over time from reading or listening to your content online, has created a perception of you without them even knowing you. And when they do finally meet you, the likeability factor comes home to roost.
A great piece of advice I received from one of my mentors was to ‘be easy to buy from and easy to work with’. This advice goes to the heart of likeability; that is, being friendly, approachable, able to build rapport easily, having empathy and being personally relatable, are all attributes that make doing business with you a pleasure.
Great power comes with great responsibility
Persuasion is part of everyday life. From trying to get the kids to eat their vegetables to trying to convince a recruitment panel why you’re the best candidate for a job or trying to convince your work colleagues why a particular strategic approach is best, persuasion underpins many of the stories we tell and actions we take.
However, with what we know about the psychology of persuasion, and the power of verbal and non-verbal language, it is beholden upon every professional who uses persuasion in their work to ensure that their messages and actions are clear, honest and ethical, and not designed to exploit or manipulate others. When used ethically, the Liking Principle can be a useful tool in creating mutually-beneficial outcomes.
Equally, as colleagues and consumers, we need to maintain a sense of curiosity, question everything and listen to our gut. Because when someone or something appears too good to be true, oftentimes it is.
Use the Likeability Principle ethically and appropriately, and you’ll enhance your reputation.
Reference:
1 Cialdini, R, Influence: The psychology of persuasion, HarperCollins, New York, 2007.
©Ros Weadman 2024
